love beau/ fields sublime

  Posted on September 25, 2014 at 4:51 pm

I had to practice the poem a couple of times to pronounce, “again,” to fit the rhyme. I had to get to the point where I didn’t smile/ laugh uttering it. I had to honor the child who originally wrote the piece, without judgment of elder me. There are several sequences in the poem, where I wanted to reveal in my face, “Hey y’all, I get that this line doesn’t actually make any sense.” I didn’t, because upon further listening to the piece, I realized that when I originally wrote this poem, those lines weren’t about sense, they were about emotion. I listened for how “dark gold glitter,” and “billowy ring,” revealed more in their rhythm and tone, than in their definition. Allowing myself to remove logic as absolute, I was able to recite the poem with more of the original pain and frustration I wrote it in. I cannot understand this work if I project what isn’t true to the piece in my recitation of it. In listening to this recitation, I must also work more on reflecting the voice I possessed when I wrote each poem. Even if I can’t capture the register, or am unlikely to strain my vocal chords to achieve the exact sound, I must reach deep into who I was fully during the writing of each of these poems. I want to reflect how much insecurity may have influenced my speaking. I want to show how fear reduces as one owns themselves, increases as one runs in their verse. I want to hear me at every stage of my life. It is a clue needed to be able to speak as if one is the age in which the poem is written.
Thankfully, I have many more opportunities to continue this work.